Whether your child was stillborn or died as a newborn, does not change the fact that you are a parent. Death, whether unexpected or anticipated, does not invalidate your relationship with your child. You need to do the things a parent does for a new child:
Hold her, giver her a name, confirm she is yours and claim her as your own, examine her little body and see what features resemble you or your family, dress her, take photographs (and lots of them!), preserve a lock of hair or make fingerprints/footprints, marvel at what you created, talk to her, sing and coo over her, love her and never forget her!
If your child is stillborn or dies shortly after birth for reasons that could not be foreseen, you face many questions that were unexpected. How could this have happened? What if you had done things differently? Where is God? What do you tell people? How do you inform the siblings and grandparents? What are you supposed to do with the nursery? Will you take leave from work? Do you return the baby's gifts or keep them for another child? Why was this child taken so soon? What about all of our hopes and dreams for our baby?
Do you know the answers to these questions? I don't, but I can rest assured that my sweet baby is in the arms of the Lord and YOU will always be their parent.
*Please Note: These are the views of the Author, Jodi Crismond, and do not reflect the same as this website.
Acknowledging your pain is the first step to healing. Healing is the first step to renewing your life.
It is so important to seek counsel when suffering a loss as great as losing a child that grew and developed inside you. Talk about your feelings and know that it is ok to feel sad in having this occur. Your feelings matter and need to be addressed, don't hold it in because it is not healthy.There is hope and life after this tragedy.